Marriage Is God's Ideal
"And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof: and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Genesis 2:18-24.
Believe
"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." Matthew 22:37. "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Ephesians 5:33.
Leave/Cleave
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth...&fquot; Genesis 1:27, 28. "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Genesis 2:24.
Weave
"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church [body of believers]: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church [body of believers] is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church [body of believers], and gave himself for it." Ephesians 5:21-25.
"God's creative work was not complete until he made woman. He could have made her from the dust of the ground, as he made man. He chose, however, to make her from the man's flesh and bone. In so doing, he illustrated for us that in marriage man and woman symbolically become one flesh. This is a mystical union of the couple's hearts and lives." - Life Application Bible, p. 9.
"Throughout the Bible, God treats this special union seriously. If you are married or planning to be married, are you willing to keep the commitment which makes the two of you one? The goal in marriage should be more than friendship; it should be oneness. God styles and equips men and women for various tasks, but all lead to the same goal - honoring God. Man gives life to woman; woman gives life to the world. Each role carries exclusive privileges; there is no room for thinking that one sex is superior to the other. God gave marriage as a gift to Adam and Eve. They were created perfect for each other. Marriage was not just for convenience, nor was it brought about by any culture. It was instituted by God and has three basic aspects: (1) the man leaves his parents and, in a public act, promises himself to his wife; (2) the man and woman are joined together by taking responsibility for each other's welfare and by loving the mate above all others; (3) the two become one flesh in the intimacy and commitment of sexual union, which is reserved for marriage. Strong marriages today include all three of these aspects." - Life Application Bible, p. 9.
"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord." Proverbs 18:22.
"Today's emphasis on individual freedom is misguided. Strong individuals are important, but so are strong marriages. God created marriage for our enjoyment and he pronounced it good. This is one of many passages in the Bible that show marriage as a joyful and good creation of God." - Life Application Bible, p. 1105.
The Godly visionary ideal of an integral marriage is that the roles of the man and woman, although distinct from one another, are first of all pleasing God in each other's fidelity to God; and as a super-component and awareness of one another's courage to be and do such, a blessed harmony of One (God/man/woman) comes forth to focus upon God in their enlargement of one another.
"Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth." Proverbs 5:15-18.
"In contrast to much of what we read, see, and hear today, this passage urges couples to look to each other for lifelong satisfaction and companionship. Many temptations entice husbands and wives to desert each other for excitement and pleasures to be found elsewhere, when marriage becomes dull. But God designed marriage and sanctified it, and only within this covenant relationship can we find real love and fulfillment. Don't let God's best for you be wasted on the illusion of greener pastures elsewhere. Instead, rejoice with your spouse as you give yourselves to God and to each other." - Life Application Bible, p. 1085.
"Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun." Ecclesiastes 9:9.
Building A Strong Marriage
Friendship
"His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem" Song Of Solomon 5:16.
"The girl calls Solomon her 'friend'. In a healthy marriage, lovers are also good friends. Too often people are driven into marriage by the exciting feelings of love before they take the time to develop a deep friendship that includes listening, sharing, and showing understanding for the other's likes and dislikes. Friendship takes time, but it makes a love relationship much deeper and far more satisfying." - Life Application Bible, p. 1148.
Wisdom/Knowledge/Understanding
"Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: and by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches." Proverbs 24:3, 4.
Commitment
"When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken." Deuteronomy 24:5.
"Newly married couples were to remain together their first year. This was to avoid placing an excessive burden upon a new, unproven relationship and to give it a chance to mature and strengthen before confronting it with numerous responsibilities. Let your marriage grow strong by protecting your relationship from too much outside pressure and distraction - especially in the beginning. And don't expect or demand so much from newlyweds that they have inadequate time or energy to establish their marriage." - Life Application Bible, p. 342.
Mutual Respect
"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." Ephesians 5:21.
"...When we submit to God, we become more willing to obey his command to submit to others; that is, to subordinate our rights to theirs. In a marriage relationship both husband and wife are called to submit. For the wife this means willingly following her husband's leadership in Christ. For the husband it means putting aside his own interests in order to care for his wife. Submission is rarely a problem in homes where both spouses are in a strong relationship with Christ and where each is concerned for the happiness of the other." - Life Application Bible, p. 2078.
"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands... Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." 1 Peter 3:1,7.
"Submission means to cooperate voluntarily with someone else, out of love and respect for God and for that person. Ideally, submission is mutual....Even when it is one-sided, however, it can be an effective Christian strategy. Jesus Christ submitted to death so that we could be saved; we may sometimes have to submit to unpleasant circumstances so that others will see Christ in us. (Christian submission never requires us to disobey God or to participate in what our conscience forbids.) One-sided submission requires tremendous strength. We could not do it without the power of the Holy Spirit working in us. When Peter calls women the 'weaker vessel' he does not imply moral or intellectual inferiority, but he is recognizing women's physical limitations. Women in his day, if unprotected by men, were vulnerable to attack, abuse, and financial disaster. Women's lives may be easier today, but they are still vulnerable to criminal attack and family abuse. And in spite of increased opportunities in the workplace, most women still earn considerably less than most men, and the vast majority of the nations' poor are single mothers and their children. A man who honors his wife as a member of the weaker sex will protect, respect, help, and stay with her. He will not expect her to work full-time outside and full-time at home; he will lighten her load wherever he can. He will be sensitive to her needs, and he will relate to her with courtesy, consideration, insight, and tact." - Life Application Bible, p. 2200.
True, Sincere Love
"Let love be without dissimulation..." Romans 12:9.
"Most of us have learned how to pretend to love others - how to speak kindly, avoid hurting their feelings, and appear to take an interest in them. We may even be skilled in pretending to feel moved with compassion when we hear of others' needs, or to become indignant when we learn of injustice. But God calls us to real and sincere love ('let love be without dissimulation') that goes far beyond pretense and politeness. Real love requires concentration and effort. It means helping others become better people. It demands our time, money, and personal involvement...." - Life Application Bible, p. 1985.
Spiritually Fulfilling Or Fillingly Unfulfilling
The husband cannot make his wife "spiritually whole" by merely fulfilling sexual desire. And equally true is that the wife cannot make her husband "spiritually whole" by similar "backwardness", as shown in this chart.
As a husband/wife leads by God's Principle of Example, so the two become One In Christ; thus promoting righteousness, love, joy, peace, et cetera.
"Submiting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves, unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: for we are members of his [Christ's] body, of his [Christ's] flesh, and of his [Christ's] bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Ephesians 5:21-33. This Biblical reference does not say "women, girls, females, gals" - for wife(s); neither does it say "men, boys, males, guys" for husband(s).
As a man/woman leads by their own lust-loving example so the twain (two) be one; thus leaving off spiritual control to down-spiraling, darkness, depression, et cetera.
"There is a way that seemeth right unto a man [woman], but the end thereof are the ways of death." Proverbs 16:25.
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." Proverbs 3:5.
"When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: to deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things; who leave the paths of uprighteness, to walk in the ways of darkness: who rejoice to do evil, and delight in the frowardness of the wicked; whose ways are crooked, and they froward in their paths; to deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words; which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God. For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead." Proverbs 2:10-18.
"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the spirit of our God. All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord: and the Lord for the body. And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? Know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? For two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body." 1 Corinthians 6:9-18.
"Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7:2.
Conclusion
A woman that becomes a wife respects her man that becomes her husband to love her.
God's Advice / Invitation
"Give not thy strength unto women [plural], nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings...Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." See the complete chapter of Proverbs 31.
"I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live: that thou mayest love the Lord thy God, and that thou mayest obey his voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he is thy life...." Deuteronomy 30:19, 20.
"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." Matthew 22:37-40.
For Further Contemplation: Every Man To His Own House
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Life Application Bible Notes Used By Permission. Life Application Study Bible © 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991, 1993, 1996 by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved. Life Application is a registered trademark of Tyndale Publishers, Inc.
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